LOOK AT THIS GIANT SPIDER IN MY ROOM

ugh I'm not even scared of spiders but when I first saw this little SOB he was like SPRINTING OUT OF MY PILE OF PAPERS RIGHT NEXT TO ME. and I am like

but ok whatever, my mom taught me right and living on the edge of town in the basement equals lots of spiders all the time so I grab a glass I happen to have next to me, and at this point this still skittering around my wall like a meth head. So I get it in the glass and IT IS GOING CRAZY IN THERE!!! and it runs to the end of the glass and I pull it away AND THIS FREAKING SPIDER PARKOURS ITS WAY ONTO MY PRINTER AND AT THIS POINT I AM LIKE

this gif is especially appropriate since it is 1 in the morning right now/when this happened

and then it scurries out of sight until I finally found it over by my doorway where it continues to be, in a corner, where the whole "grab it with a glass and throw it in a bush" method is completely ineffectual. Also I have a bite on my leg that I'm 98% sure is a spider bite at this point. OH SHOOT WJERE TID oh there it is. this spider is switching tactics from meth head to weeping angel. I don't really want to squish it because my mom raised me right and spiders are beneficial for the ecosystem BUT IF THIS SPIDER IS A HOBO SPIDER SO HELP ME.

will update later when there is a conclusion.







update 1: ALSO EVER SINCE I SAW THAT SPIDER I FEEL LIKE THERE ARE A BILLION INSECTS CRAWLING ALL OVER ME AND ALSO THAT IF I TRY TO GO TO BED THERE WILL BE THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS IN MY BEDDDDDDDDSAUGHHHFHHFHHH

UPDATE TWO: IT"S CLIMBING UP AND DOWN MY DOORWAY I THINK IT"S MAKING A WEB AND IT"S STILL NOT IN AN OPTIMAL POSITION FOR ME TO CATCH. I have this sneaking suspicion that this spider is smarter than your average spider AND KNOWS WHAT I AM UP TO
update two and a half: it's squishing itself all up against the wall! what does that even mean! it's such a big spider that it has to crush like half of its limbs to fit where it's hiding what even!!

Update Three: do you think it will just stay there if I leave it? because I really want to go to bed but I don't want to squish it but I feel like if I leave it be it'll come crawl in my bed and bite my legs like ants do at my parent's house.
If my bed weren't up against the wall like it is, it's cinder block and a half height off the ground would keep me safe from everything except divebombing spiders on the cieling. Where can I get a hammock in provo at this time of night?

Update four: trying to get all my junk together for tomorrow and I think I've walked through fifteen spider webs. Also there is a ton of really long hair on my floor that I discovered today/right now and like... where did that even come from. I guess whoever lived in this room before me. oh the spider also hasn't moved

FINAL UPDATE: I went to bed and when I got up the spider was nowhere to be seen. One can only hope it found its way outside or to one of my roommates' rooms, but let's be real it's probably hiding somewhere in my closet or something