Spock Predicts Provo

Ok, after the style of Mark Does Stuff I'm going to put down some predictions about things that will happen to me while I am down here. some will be crazy, actually all of them will be crazy. Maybe some of them will be realistic, I guess we'll see. I'll revisit this post in like august or something whenever I'm about to go on my mission and we'll tally things up:

• Every day when I come home from class I will go straight into my room and not come out until I have to go to class again the next day, thus never getting to know my roomates at all. 
• On the very first day of Old Norse I will fail out of the class because I don't know another Scandinavian language/Classical Latin
• I will do really well in Old Norse until it's too late to drop the class and then it will suddenly get insanely difficult and I will fail.
• someone will try to ask me on a date in one of the following ways/places (all based on true experiences):
• empty parking lot late at night
• after having awkwardly followed me around all church/class
• trying to corner me just as I'm leaving in the hopes that by having the element of surprise I will be more likely to say yes (I won't)
• at the end of class/church when the room is almost empty
• I will not like provo at all and it will traumatize me about not living at my parents' home and I will become the proverbial 40 year old living in mom's basement
• I will get into a VERBAL ALTERCATION with someone over politics
• Every time I see someone wearing BYU clothes I will think up some biting remark only to censor myself for obvious reasons until one fateful day I will somehow let some purile comment slip and then whoops three hour rant about BYU apparel/sports fans
• someone from salt lake will come and make a surprise visit at the most inconvenient time imaginable
• I will live in the provo library but never set foot in the HBLL
• vice versa of that last one
• I will get into a fist fight over Mitt Romney
• I will lose said fist fight, but win the argument
• somehow I won't be able to transfer my AP English credit and have to take freshman writing......when I'm a senior
• I will get lost/trapped in the HFAC basement for from somewhere between three hours and a week

ok that's all I got. tune in next time for moving insanity!

stick shifts & safety belts

now we get down to the meat of this blog. Here are a million screenshots.

Alright, first and foremost is this email I got with loads of clip-art because at BYU it's really important that we reach out to our thriving community of six year old students. I've already written about this elsewhere. It's good for a laugh. The next week I got this little number:

question mark question mark question mark??? little cartoon person standing on an apetail (yes, that is seriously what those are called)??

 Here are some goodies I've found in my quest to find a place to live in provost:

WHY DO YOU HAVE A PUBLIC BATHROOM IN YOUR APARTMENT. also why do you have a desk in there.

I really appreciate that 1) this person had her giant bear model for us just how comfortable this bed must be 2) that this bear looks like it is wasted and 3) that whoever posted this couldn't figure out how to rotate the picture

Here are my discoveries on BYU.edu

struggles

I later discovered that this is not exclusive to BYU but I liked it anyway because I'm not sure why they put it where it was

when I first saw this one I was like "WOW IS BYU SERIOUSLY GOING TO DEAL WITH PRIVILEGE THAT IS REALLY COOL"

nope

probably my favourite homepage article picture:

LOOKOUT THERE'S A MONSTER BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!!

BYU's new financial centre mascot is pretty hip and holy

party angel hipster pig.png

till next time friends!

Provo Party Tyrants

Me right now still in Salt Lake:

this doesn't really have any relevance to the rest of the post but at one point I swear it did

If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been instructed to tune to one of the broadcast stations in your area.

Today was my last day at the University of Utah and approximately two minutes ago I submitted my final assignment and all that, so I thought it would be an appropriate time to start this little guy. In this first post I will give some background on my cool cool life and why this is even happening. fyi all of this is painfully well rehearsed because I have to explain all this at a moments notice to pretty much everyone apparently. What follows is a story all about how my life got flip turned upside down, in greatly unnecessary detail.